Courage · is · the · power · to · let · go · of · the · familiar

Today was absolutely beautiful. Walking by the hot dog dudes with their charcoal smoke blowing in my face, I had a sudden strong urge to go camping. Definitely need to get that going this summer, and finally drag Nico along with me. I hope he loves it. It's one of my true loves in life... I miss nature...

I got sucked into a good Weight Watchers online deal, which I think is for the best. Somehow just counting calories doesn't work for me. I'd just watch myself go above my goal every day and go "oh well." But with WW, it's like a game somehow, and I do much better. It's day two, and my body is adjusting, but I feel good about it. I haven't hit my target yet, but that's mainly because I had leftover chinese food that I wasn't going to waste (also trying to save money, here!) and so my lunches have been a bit point-heavy. So I've used some of the "extra" points you get each week. But I need to get rid of these 25-30 pounds I've gained since Brian and Nan's wedding. I know it's probably mainly due to being on prednisone for so long (as are several other side effects I'm just SICK of), and I'm tapering off that (slloowwly) so I'm praying that it'll just melt away and I can go back to less strict eating. Which isn't healthy...so I guess I should just go back to eating more of the healthy stuff... Whatever. I'm determined to lose it. Bought some pilates dvds with my gift card, got some money saved for a little stepper machine for when my gym membership runs out... I'm ready, baby!! I even went to the gym on Sunday! Crazy!! so wish me luck...

Speaking of Brian and Nan (somewhere back there), they, along with Sarah and Renee, are on a 17-hour flight to Thailand right now. Nan is so excited to see her family and home for the first time in...six?...years I think. Sarah and Renee are there for a week or two, and then Brian and Nan are staying another week or two. I dont' remember the exact details. It's a delayed honeymoon. I was invited, but I didn't have the money, but sitting here now thinking I could be going to THAILAND right now is making me kinda mad I didn't go. I need a vacation. We'll see if I can get Nico to commit to one. And need to discuss with Kristin. And plan a trip to Michigan to see Amanda. And Montreal to see Kerry - that one maybe in March over Marcie's spring break... we'll see. People to go, people to see...and no money. As always. But that's going okay, too.

I wrote way more than I intended.

Oh, and I miss having an animal. I get so wistful watching puppies in the park. I miss coming home to an animal. I would LOVE to get a kitten, but no money for that right now. Plus, I'm not sure Nico would ever visit again. Or if it's allowed on my lease... another year, perhaps.

In my rush to get Brian and Nan's wedding reception DVD burned, I grabbed the wrong cable to bring to work, bought a cable at Circuit City, and discovered I in fact already owned one once I got home (couldn't burn it at work since I didn't have enough HD space....had to use my external). So really, a lot of stress and money for nothing - I did it all at home and am mailing it a day late in the end. I hope they get it before they go to Thailand!

The point is, I now have TWO six pin-four pin firewire cables. I only need one. If anyone needs/wants it (I'll give you my new one!) it's $25. That's less than I paid. I'm willing to take a hit on it. I don't think I can return it since it's out of its packaging and the package is gone. But it's a fully functioning cable!

In other news, I'm hungry. I'm failing at 1800 calories a day or less already... But that's what leftover Chinese food does to you (SOOOO GOOD!)

Happy New Year, again!

1. Will you be looking for a new job?

Not actively, unless my raise/promotion doesn't come through in April. Then HCOL might force me to look for a better paying job.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?

No. Unless new friends count! I could always go for new friends!

3. New house?

New apartment to rent, hopefully with Katie. More saving money.

4. What will you do different in 08?

Be more proactive at work, be more social after work, continue working out (maybe more), eat better (I'm on the right track)

5. New Years resolution?

Pay off a bunch of debt, find a literary agent, start my new screenplay, eat healthily, spend more time with friends/family, visit friends in Michigan and Montreal... just be happy and kind and considerate.

6. What will you not be doing in 08?

I will not be gaining any more weight, I will not spend frivilously, I will not let my desire to pay off debt turn into crazy obsession...

7. Any trips planned?

Hopefully a cruise with Nico, some sort of small vacation with Kristin (though we might splurge on Ireland we'll see), going to try to get my mom to plan a week in Paris for 2009.

8. Wedding plans?

Only helping Kerry with hers (yay I'm Maid of Honor - one of them at least!)

9. Major thing on your calendar?

Kerry's wedding in September, that's about it. The year is open and free and I kind of like that. Feels less stressful. Bring it on!!

10. What can’t you wait for?

Getting a raise, Kerry's wedding, baseball games

11. What would you like to see happen differently?

I would like to follow through on my desire to get back into photography. That's about it!

12. What about yourself will you be changing?

Just living more healthily. I'm pretty happy with myself as a person :-)

13. What happened in 07 that you didn’t think would ever happen?

Getting pleurisy and having to go on prednisone for 7 months (hence weight gain). Feeling like a sicky girl again - it had been in control, and is now, but there were a few messy months.

Feeling insecure and lonely. But hopefully that is on the mend too. I hate seasonal sadness...anyone else get that?

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?

Always trying!

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 07?

Always trying to find unique things to add to my pool of basics. I am a very basic dresser. Sometimes I want to sparkle.

16. Will you start or quit drinking?

Neither. I'm going to keep drinking, period

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?

It's pretty darned good, but I like hanging out with marcie more now she's in college.

18. Will you do charity work?

I really do need to try. Have to find a good way/place to do it.

19. Will you go to bars?

A few, Baker Street for pub quiz

20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know?

I'm nice!

21. Do you expect 08 to be a good year for you?

I hope it is! You never know, do you?

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now?

More mature, feel more secure being on my own in NYC, worrying less about what other people think of me, happy.

23. Do you plan on having a child?

In ten years maybe!

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?

I hope so! Had a few rough patches this year but that seems better now. Yay!

25. Major lifestyle changes?

Not really. Unless I get an uber-cool promotion beyond what I'm expecting.

26. Will you be moving?

Most likely, in October, to a new apartment in Queens. The rent is crazy here.

27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 08 that happened in 07?

There are things I can't control, but I hope to steer them along. Basically just relationships that got a little strained...

28. What are your New Years Eve plans?

Having people over! Where are they?

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?

As long as Nico doesn't fall asleep, yes! But he already took a nap this afternoon so we should be good! :-)

30. One wish for 08?

That my relationships with Nico, friends, and family stay strong and continue to grow as I move further into adulthood. Cause I feel like I finally left adolescence behind. And I'm okay with that!

Happy New Year, all!!

I need to do creative stuff again. Other than working on my novel, which toward the end felt more like I had to do it rather than wanted to do it (but am so glad I did, and look forward to editing and finding an agent and all that jazz). But I can't remember the last time I went out with my camera and just took pictures of things I thought were pretty. Or the last time I worked on my Deerfield screenplay. Or dabbled with my Scottish screenplay idea. Or filmed something stupid and made a silly movie. Or even doodled. Or made fun little designs in photoshop. And so, I hereby swear, to re-find the creative April! I will not let my job (even if it I do use InDesign, not so creative) suck the creative juices out of me!

I feel better already. Ideas are flowing. Especially for my Scottish fairie tale... I think I have an idea that absolutely rocks (based on Scottish myths) and I can't wait to explore it and figure out exactly how it's going to work. Tricksy thing, it is.

So last night I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas and put up my Christmas stuff. My apartment is now cozy and dimly lit. I love Christmas lights in a dark room...

I also talked to Amanda for the first time in FOREVER, and that was really nice. I miss my gal pals. So between seeing Jackie and Kristin over Thanksgiving, and talking to Amanda, and Katie wanting to get together for my bday this weekend (but I can't), and a certain thought-lost friend actually emailing me a normal, nice, friendly email and saying she'd come to my birthday dinner next week, I am feeling must more loved, much less alone (girl-wise), and much more content in my life. Happiness! Still a tad of the holiday blues (or pms, who knows) but that's to be expected.

I also cleaned my apartment a bit, and that always makes me feel better. It's funny - I'm both super organized and super messy. Anyways.

Back to coffee and Sister Hazel's Christmas CD. Really good. Especially on the one song they go R&B "Oh baby all I want is you" type stuff and sound nothing like themselves. Concert Friday!

So it's been...forever. I post once again mainly because I've been hit with my typical holiday blues... Why is such a joyous time of year also so depressing? It doesn't help that one of my best friends has gone incommunicado and that just might be...over. Which makes me terribly sad, but hey, its her choice. I have tried. Also, things in general just seem more fragile and uncertain...I thought I had things figured out only to find that nothing is ever figured out. I think instability like that really messes with me...so...I feel kind of blah about that. Hard to be optimistic at the moment, I guess.

In more uplifting news, I finished my book, at long last (14 years). It's now making the rounds of friends and family for editing, then hopefully on to finding a literary agent and publisher. Wish me luck! It feels so great that I finally finished something that huge, after years of thinking I just sucked at life. So at least I have that to hang on to right now.

Hoping Nico and I can get our cruise off the ground for January. I need to get away from life for a while.

Happy Holidays, all.

P.S. I get older next week. And I actually feel old. Welcome to the mid-20s! That's probably not helping my mood much hehe.

So I discovered a website that will pay me to write! Granted, it's a few bucks upfront per piece, and then more money based on number of page views, but still! It's fun, it gives me a bit of extra cash, and it gets me writing again (I know, I should be writing my book, but that requires so much more time!)

So check out these few things I got up this week and help a cash-strapped girl out!!

A Guide for College Freshmen

Book Review: Smart Women Finish Rich

Recipe: Graham Cracker Heaven

Movie Review: The Nanny Diaries

Useless Trivia: Test Yourself!!

NYC Unique Wedding Locations

Low-Budget Vacation Ideas


I've also updated my photo gallery, for those who care. Pictures from Orioles-Sox game with Nico and the Westfields, and from the Harbor Cruise SparkNotes (my company) went on last week. Also, Bryan's birthday from back in July is here!

Enjoy all the links, and if you have any article ideas, let me know! Peace out!

Weeklong headaches are no fun.

Driving to Baltimore is a long drive. But the Sox are worth it. So is Tim.

I seem to write a lot when on long car trips. My novel was begun while driving around the West, and it came damned near completion driving to said Baltimore. I almost want to get Nico to drive us to Kentucky or something so I'll just finish it already. But I shall content myself with imagining myself in a car, and hopefully finishing it (for real!) by the end of August.

CCE people seem to be writing down goals. I'll try this, too. Get some focus.

1. Finish above-mentioned book.

2. Call Kristin more - she shall not be lost.

3. Be better with money. This includes not using CCs, not spending frivilously, and paying off said-CCs. Soon.

4. Find something every day to be happy about. I admit, usually it's having Nico in my life. But perhaps I could look elsewhere once in a while...hehe. Today, I am happy that my life feels somewhat organized. My apartment is clean, I have a financial plan, I know (to a point) where I want my life to go both professionally and personally... Being organized can be such a stress-buster. I need less stress. Clenching teeth at night is probably causing said weeklong headache.

5. Write more in general. It's probably my one true passion (film and photography are, too, but they are simply extensions of my desire/need to tell stories. writing's what I'm GOOD at. I say with utmost humbleness. Or at least, out of all of my creative hobbies, it is what I am best at. Perhaps that is what I mean...). On a side note: Does it mean something that graphics, while fun and creative, while my career, isn't really a passion? It's nice and all, but I rarely feel like I HAVE to design something. But I'm working with books, and those are something I love. I guess it's all good. For now.

6. Be more social at work. New desk with rest of the production department means being surrounded by people I can talk to, so I should do it! Time to come out of your shell, April. You're not in web-coders land anymore!

7. Kick ass in Fantasy Baseball. This one is purely superficial. I was number 3/4 for a while. I want to be back up there. Prove I'm not a silly girl :-)

8. Lastly, sleep more. Sleep is great. Sleeping in with Nico Friday and Sunday was amazing. I should go to bed earlier. Like...now. Maybe I'll write before bed...

It's hard to believe, after all that planning, that it's over. But really we couldn't have asked for anything better (other than fewer worries about the weather). It stopped raining for two hours, just long enough for the ceremony and pictures. Nan looked beautiful, and what with the music David was playing, as she carefully walked across the soggy grass trying not to sink in her heels or get her dress dirty, she looked like some sort of ethereal being, finding her way home to Brian (okay, so I'm a sap).

The reception was a blast - lots of people said it was the best wedding they'd been to. Nico danced with me lots, and my mom even dragged him up to the dance floor (It was her birthday, so she got what she wanted!) Someday I'll get him to ballroom dancing lessons (only a few). I think I'd actually follow his lead. I'm so used to dancing around with Kristin, and I'm always the boy! hehe.

The color scheme looked great in the hall, and all of the little touches - the cake frame, easels for table cards, gift card box, centerpieces, that my mom made looked gorgeous. She did an amazing job. I'm so glad I got to help ease everyone's minds by making appointments and keeping people on task, but really my mom and Nan deserve all the credit for their terrific design sensibility. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now hehe...gotta find another wedding to coordinate!!

It was also nice to see people I've not seen in a while - my Dad and Carol, Dad's side, Agawamian friends, etc etc. So many people to talk to, I feel like I barely talked to anyone! Another time!

Link to many photos below. Once the photographer's pictures are done I'll put those up too. These are just from my mom's camera.


http://www.aprilrondeau.com/gallery/wedding